It’s no secret that Mr. P and I are here all on our own with the nearest family being a 7+ hour flight away. We had decided very early on that my mum will be here for at least 6 weeks from just before my due date till “confinement” is over. But I couldn’t book her flights until the pregnancy is viable. That and life getting in the way meant that tickets for the dates we wanted cost an arm and a leg by the time I got around to checking (almost SGD 3K on Cathay).
We ended up using miles (bye 90,000 miles and USD 367) and booking her on the flight to NY a day after my EDD (WTH right?).
Here comes a huge challenge (as if having a second child all on our own in a country with shitty healthcare system isn’t already tough; what to do with C when I am in labour?
1. Leave them with my boss / Sterl’s ex-subordinate who has a fat cat that C absolutely adores
We trust him and I am sure him and his wife would be more than willing to help. The only snag in this is that I am fairly certain C would protest. As it is when I was in the hospital due to a scare 2 weeks back, she insisted on staying by my side even though the hospital is 2 blocks away from home and I was all drugged up and more than happy for Mr. P to go home with her.
Plus logistically, it’ll be a nightmare. I am giving birth in Manhattan, he lives in Brooklyn.
2. Hire an overnight / all day sitter for C
A number of people have mentioned that we shouldn’t go down this route given that with a new baby arriving, C might have abandonment issues. I totally get that; C is extremely close to us (nobody, nobody but mum & dad).
3. Hire a doula and have Mr. P and C check into the hotel next door / hang about outside the delivery room
I worked with a doula with C, and she was a lifesaver. I laboured comfortably (as comfortable as labour could be) at home until I was about 5cm dialated (maybe 6). It took barely 2 hours from when I actually reached the hospital to when C popped out and that was because I didn’t have enough energy to push (been awake almost 20 hours at that point). While I would like Mr. P to be there, this is the 2nd time around, I am pretty certain I would be fine without him (not like he has much to do anyway since there is no way I want the birth filmed).
I was swayed toward option 3 until Mr. P came up with a crazy but achievable idea – have him mum come in August for a few weeks until my mum can make it. 50,000 miles and EUR 216 poorer later, we have Granny K visiting C for 2.5 weeks till my mum gets here early September.
The plan is to make C feel super special that everyone is coming to see her and spend time with her. I guess Mr. P will be with me when I am in labour and C will be in the hotel next door with Granny K until Miss A is ready to meet the world.
(P.S. thank God for grandmothers!)