The Irmingers

:: Life :: Something’s gotta give

Disclaimer: I’m not targeting anyone or trying to be holier than thou. These are just frank thoughts from a worn down woman, wife and mother.

We are a dual income household with a preschooler and a baby on the way. While we make a decent living by any standards, we also pay a shit load of taxes and our childcare expenses are more than what many fresh graduates make a month. Mr. P and I are in banking; though not IBD-18-hour days, we put in a good 55-60 hours a week (and no we DON’T do lunches out, it’s an eat at your desk deal).

We are on our own in the States, so when I say we have zero family support, we literally have NONE. There’s no meddling in-laws or opinionated mother to hover and offer a 30-minute breather.

This, my friends, is my reality.

Clover has been sick for the last 11 days; she had the usual cough, sniffles, fever and a case of pink eye. We didn’t run to the doctor because here in the States, she’s deemed too young for real meds. All they will do is to send us home with Tylenol or Advil (which you can get over the counter).

The fever went on and off for 5 days. When I finally took her to the doctor, he did exactly as I mentioned above. She took a turn for the worse last Saturday night, got a little better on Sunday but spent all night hacking away. I hardly slept that night (3 hours tops). Mr. P took her to the pediatrician yesterday morning and she’s been diagnosed with pneumonia in her left lung!

Honestly I didn’t think you can get pneumonia unless you are climbing Everest or locked out of your apartment in near freezing temp all night. (Just kidding.)

Anyway, she’s still hacking (so hard that she’s thrown up 4 days in a row) but on the mend. Her ding dong fever will hopefully be gone so she can get back to school tomorrow (apparently she’s no longer contagious).

Something’s got to give, I guess my health it is. With the lack of sleep, general busyness (boss was out) at work, I’m down with a cold and cough which hopefully won’t develop into a flu, or worse pneumonia (thank God for Lemsip – can someone send me some we are almost out and they are not sold crazily overpriced from British supermarkets here).

My sick day still involved spending 2 hours this morning (from 6.45am btw) remoting into work and a further 2 hours after market later.

So next time when you want to bitch about your in-laws or your own know-it-all mother; complain about working late; moan about being tired from juggling career and motherhood; or decry the lack of recognition for being a SAHM (with / without hired help), remember there is someone else in a more difficult situation.

I’m sick, tired and feel like I’ve dropped the ball in motherhood and career but at least I have a wonderful husband (not so much last evening), a (mostly) healthy daughter, paid sick leave and good colleagues.


10 thoughts on “:: Life :: Something’s gotta give

  1. Get better soon! I’ve known several pediatricians, and their approach is really varied. Some over prescribe antibiotics and others, usually older, tend to have the wait and see approach for young kids. Sometimes it takes awhile to find one that has similar philosophy as you. Spring is finally here after the worst winter ever here in ny! Take care.

  2. I literally almost just gave you a standing ovation! You said it girl! You basically spoke what has been on my mind forever. I am in exact same boat as you – perhaps not pregnant with the 2nd, yet, but same situation – its just me, husband and 2.5 toddler. No families or in-laws as support, just us. And it baffles me when people whinged about motherhood, mother in laws, being a SAHM, sick children, how miserable their lives are when they are sick with a sick child with no time to rest and recover, wonk wonk wonk etc. Like give me a freaking break! Some of these mothers have helpers for crying out loud and they still whinged and the worse offenders I find. I would love them to walk a mile in my shoe 🙂

    Anyway you take care my dear and hope Clover gets better soon.. and you 🙂

    1. You are a super mum my friend! I see all your culinary exploits on instagram, that on top of being in the same no-support situation as I, puts me to shame!

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