I am a strong believer that the majority of individuals are rational beings who will choose to do the right thing; but when put in a group situation, doing the right thing becomes secondary to fitting in. Which is why I have always consciously avoided being part of a group / in-crowd; and when being put in a situation where I can choose to go along or stand my unpopular ground, I’d choose the latter.
Obviously, this note to self kinda fell by the wayside when C came along. I was a new mum and being up at odd hours with only a cell phone for company (and a sleepy/sleeping baby, so no tv) meant that I sought out new friends, groups even, who have shared “interest”. I am very lucky that I have met many wonderful new-found friends who have shared and taught me a lot and have also been generous with their friendships.
Unfortunately an incident happened a week (or more) ago in FB (yeah I know how very mature) which has once again reminded me that sometimes groups are less than the sum of their parts (members).
Mum A found offense in MY PERSONAL STATUS update on MY PERSONAL WALL. Instead of coming straight to the source (ME ME ME *raise hands and wave wildly*), she posted an undisguised aim at me in a mummy (FB) forum. Did anyone bloody come and ask me about this? Hell-to-the-NO. No one, none of the other 113 mothers bothered to find out what was going on.
I let it slide; well until I’ve had enough (it went on for days) of the insinuations and unfriended (how very mature :p) her and cleaned up my friends list (which I do periodically anyway).
Now 1 week later, Mum B (we don’t have any issue with each other) posted an unrelated issue on her own wall that I came across last evening with 4 comments. This afternoon it had jumped to the top of my feed with 200+ replies. Of course me being nosy, read it. Out of nowhere, Gek Eng (Mum C) BROADCASTED Mum A’s issue with me and then proceeded to gossip about me.
Seriously like WTF?!?!? 我无缘无故 (bo dai bo ji / no rhyme or reason) kena gossiped!
It all sounds very high school and catty. I guess women can become mothers but you can never take the mean girls out of them. 你一句我一句，煽风点火、加盐加醋 for fuck? For your own bitchy entertainment?
Just remember: 身为人家的母亲是孩子的榜样，要口下留情、积点口德。
P.S. My status update was:
“Singaporeans are always complaining it’s too expensive to have more children. That’s because you want to send your child(ren) to brand name child care and 20 billion unnecessary enrichment classes every weekend.”
Birth rates and the expenses of raising kids in SG is a hot topic of late. This was NOT in response to a particular person (most definitely not Mum A) but a personal opinion because of what I have read on FB, twitter, my RSS feeds, Today SG, etc.