:: Editorial :: Herd Mentality

I am a strong believer that the majority of individuals are rational beings who will choose to do the right thing; but when put in a group situation, doing the right thing becomes secondary to fitting in. Which is why I have always consciously avoided being part of a group / in-crowd; and when being put in a situation where I can choose to go along or stand my unpopular ground, I’d choose the latter.

Obviously, this note to self kinda fell by the wayside when C came along. I was a new mum and being up at odd hours with only a cell phone for company (and a sleepy/sleeping baby, so no tv) meant that I sought out new friends, groups even, who have shared “interest”. I am very lucky that I have met many wonderful new-found friends who have shared and taught me a lot and have also been generous with their friendships.

Unfortunately an incident happened a week (or more) ago in FB (yeah I know how very mature) which has once again reminded me that sometimes groups are less than the sum of their parts (members).

Mum A found offense in MY PERSONAL STATUS update on MY PERSONAL WALL. Instead of coming straight to the source (ME ME ME *raise hands and wave wildly*), she posted an undisguised aim at me in a mummy (FB) forum. Did anyone bloody come and ask me about this? Hell-to-the-NO. No one, none of the other 113 mothers bothered to find out what was going on.

I let it slide; well until I’ve had enough (it went on for days) of the insinuations and unfriended (how very mature :p) her and cleaned up my friends list (which I do periodically anyway).

Now 1 week later, Mum B (we don’t have any issue with each other) posted an unrelated issue on her own wall that I came across last evening with 4 comments. This afternoon it had jumped to the top of my feed with 200+ replies. Of course me being nosy, read it. Out of nowhere, Gek Eng (Mum C) BROADCASTED Mum A’s issue with me and then proceeded to gossip about me.

Seriously like WTF?!?!? 我无缘无故 (bo dai bo ji / no rhyme or reason) kena gossiped!

It all sounds very high school and catty. I guess women can become mothers but you can never take the mean girls out of them. 你一句我一句,煽风点火、加盐加醋 for fuck? For your own bitchy entertainment?

Just remember: 身为人家的母亲是孩子的榜样,要口下留情、积点口德。

P.S. My status update was:

“Singaporeans are always complaining it’s too expensive to have more children. That’s because you want to send your child(ren) to brand name child care and 20 billion unnecessary enrichment classes every weekend.”

Birth rates and the expenses of raising kids in SG is a hot topic of late. This was NOT in response to a particular person (most definitely not Mum A) but a personal opinion because of what I have read on FB, twitter, my RSS feeds, Today SG, etc.


7 thoughts on “:: Editorial :: Herd Mentality

  1. To me, it is not too expensive to have more kids in Singapore. It is more of the ‘no help’ that deter me from having second one!!!! No date night ever for me and hub since kiddo came cos we have no parents to help and no helper at all. 😦

    1. Totally understand your situation!

      People don’t realise it isn’t all that bad in SG because in HK, it’s worst if you don’t make a decent living. E.g. Clover’s consultation at the GP is HKD 600, PD HKD 1200 (and our doc is not even the most expensive).

  2. Wow… it’s like high school all over again. I agree with your status though, can’t insist on this and that for your kid, then complain about the cost

    1. Yup, people in SG expects free handouts AND still pay low taxes. You want free healthcare, free education, etc. be prepared to pay 40-50% taxes. How else is the govt going to fund all these “needs”.

  3. HA! what was A’s comment back to you just curious. This sounds so ridiculously childish I need to laugh. Am curious cos what you’re saying is true! Parents are now spending 1-2k on kindergarten fee alone(more expensive then my poly tuition fees) and theres also a freaking waiting list to enter a kindergarten now, which i personally think is crazy because its just after all a kindergarten! Singapore IS getting more ridiculous really. Common sense; cannot afford? don’t get it. Don’t insist for the unnecessary things and then blame it on the child.

    Also, totally agree on the 身为人家的母亲是孩子的榜样. Parents don’t realise how they behave actually influence their kids. Look at them in SG now, things are getting ridic to the extent where I don’t know I’m suppose to cry/laugh(erm mother calling the police on the teacher who cut her son hair?)

    p.s you made me chuckle at the bo dai bo ji part, been a long time since I’ve heard it!

  4. I really don’t see what’s wrong with your fb status as you are free to post whatever you please. And I don’t find it offensive. Goodness the medical fees in Hk are ridiculous.

  5. Oh dear sounds like they’re at it again… It is extremely high school and catty, it’s all very disappointing really for a mothers’ group.

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